Representatives. A haunting word that reappears time and time again in the book Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton. A heartbreaking and uplifting read about the breakdown of a marriage, Melton is faced with difficult questions about love and sex after discovering the infidelity of her husband. A shock at first, she is later faced with the truth: That her marriage was built on a shaky foundation of smoke and mirrors, where both individuals (herself and her husband Craig), have never known themselves much less each other.
One of the things that stood out for me is how little we allow our full selves to show. From a very young age, we are taught to hide our breadth and depth of our heart; to lie when we feel down, to pretend everything is alright amidst a barrage of picture-perfect stories across social media. Often times, what is described as love or beauty are lies in the media, framing us as lacking something. Needing this makeup product or this sexy dress before we are "worthy" of the love we want. Instead of showing our real selves, Melton talks about how we send our "representatives" instead, the masks that we think people want to see. As we continue to live this lifestyle, our real selves become buried under layers of protection until they are no longer recognizable. Some people may be unaware that their true self exists, until a crisis like infidelity or death results.
The problem is that love can only exist when we surface, when we reveal our true selves.
How can we love ourselves or others when we hide rather than being witnessed? How can we let our true selves shine? And more importantly, if we have rarely if ever seen our true selves, what are they? These are questions I continue to explore myself, as I practice being present for myself and others.
My heart tells me that it's become so much more than just having a successful blog, but it's been my companion in my spiritual journey. The more I share my truth, the more I understand my gift and how I can best serve others.
I finished reading Love Warrior this week, and I felt like her story was meant for me. The author framed her morning writes as an appointment with herself, a time where she could fully express the expansion of her heart. It is through her daily writing that she learns how to express her truth and her love in every moment, not just in her writing. She learns the definition of beauty, of allowing your light and your darkness to be seen, so that two souls can meet at the surface and love each other's true self. I resonate so much with her, I almost stopped reading the book because it was so painful to read at first. So glad I read the whole story.